Nerves

Date: 05/17/15

Today we find our hero contemplating the future. The day of his freedom is fast approaching and yet he has a feeling of apprehension. Lets listen in and find out why.

Hello my friends,

Since my last entry, work has picked up! This week I managed to get 57 hours in! So I’ll be able to take out another large chunk of my last student loan. And the good news doesn’t stop there. Next week is looking like another full week of work. So if all goes as planned, I’ll be able to cut my last student loan in half yet again!

So I am happy about that…

and yet…

Lately, I’ve been growing nervous. Despite all my preparation, the equipment I’ve been ordering, and the research, I still don’t feel ready. That I’m prepared enough. I feel I could be doing more, yet I find myself being distracted when I do have time off.

I’ve been binge watching “Enterprise” on Netflix. Ironic that it’s about the start of the Star Trek universe. The first launch of the Enterprise. Their mission being one of exploration. The Vulcan’s telling the humans that they were not ready. Yet they went ahead.

I suppose maybe that is the reason I’ve been watching it. Subconscious motivation of some sort. That and I’ve always liked Star Trek. I’m a nerd what can I say 😉

I wonder if anyone feels ready before the start of a grand adventure. More likely they don’t. They probably get as ready as they can and go for it. 

Work makes it difficult. When at work, I’m working all day, sun up till sun down. Then when I get home I need a day or two to recuperate. Then the distractions…

However, I have been getting things done. I’ve been applying for copyright permissions and got my first one yesterday. A few more and I’ll be able to post another video on my YouTube channel.

I have been continually ordering equipment for the trip. 

I have worked on my website a bit. 

Worked on my YouTube Channel and posted a few videos.

Gotta look for that upside. Find the positive.

So I am coming along. It makes sense that I am nervous. Big changes and fear of the unknown; human nature to be anxious about these things.

One way or another I’ll be as ready as I can be. Hugh Laurie (House) said it best:

“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” – Hugh Laurie

This is the Outsider signing off, reminding you to take that next step and then another in the direction of your dreams.
Forever your friend,
~The Outsider
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